A good friend of mine got married today. As I sat in the wedding hall with my husband, Suku and another friend, I was acutely conscious of the significance of that moment when the groom tied the mangalsutra (aka thali) around the bride’s neck and each accepted the other as partner for life. While acceptance and commitment are primarily from the heart, a wedding ceremony symbolizing the fact that one is ready to stretch beyond individual selfishness and envelop another being in that snug blanket of love makes the sense of togetherness and the big bad scary C word commitment authentic. The human race has always needed symbolism and social recognition to authenticate accomplishment and the wedding ceremony is, in many ways, precisely such a thing. Set to the mellifluous and traditional music of the Nadhaswaram, the bride and the groom, both clad in sacred yellow traditional saree and dhothi respectively, walked hand in hand around the Agni as they completed the final symbol of holy matrimony.
I would like to wish the couple a relationship that is satisfying, comforting, and precious. A relationship that is based on mutual trust and understanding; a relationship where there is much more give than take; a relationship that anchors the self when the turbulent waters of life test the spirit. Honestly, in the long run, it does not matter if your partner hates cricket or if you hate your partner’s sense of dressing. It does not matter if the castle of your silly adolescent expectations crashes down in steady progression because replacing that fragile glass house will be the sturdy and strong home built on companionship. Like the two-phase commit where the coordinator and the resource manager are in perfect understanding, I wish the couple a good open channel of communication and loads of patience when staying tuned becomes a challenge.
A marriage is a good thing for everyone. Though it seems like a restrictive chain for self-progression, it is one of the best ways to challenge one’s limits and to grow as a person. Some marriages start out with a delightful bang and then become a life-long whimper. Others start out on the rocks of prejudice and caution and then settle into a steady ride on Bridgestone radials. Yours will be a unique ride, I tell my friend; a ride that you will have to negotiate on your own. Be adventurous and have tons of fun!
PS: you haven't really understood marriage until one of you falls sick for the first time. Here is some reflection on the topic.
